What Love Requires
What Love Requires
When visiting my grandmother, Theresa, who lived on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn, NY, I learned a few valuable lessons. As a child, she would say to me: “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” She was tough. She had been through a lot with the depression, wars, and life.
She was a lady that knew everything going on in her building and the buildings around her. When a lady was in a rough place and didn’t have food for kids, she found a way to get some to her, even when it meant it was her sacrifice. All done while keeping the person’s dignity. That was critical to her way of thinking and acting.
There were sacrifices made; it was a community needing to be connecting. Whether they all liked each other or agreed with one another was irrelevant. Everyone was required to keep the community alive and thriving in its way. If there was dissension in the ranks, she went straight to the source no backstabbing or gossip just hit the issue head-on. There was no time for petty anything.
If a job was needed, she could find a job for anyone who wanted one. There was dignity in contributing, working side by side with others, giving a sense of comradery and belonging. It also helped keep food on tables, that was a big deal at that time.
Those were tough days to live through. We have tough ones today. For some, they can relate to my grandmother. My grandmother believed that God wasn’t going to eliminate the hard challenges but would always provide what was needed to overcome the problems with strength or resources. She told me that God uses people to give things, which made them a part of the community, a part of caring for all in tough times.
There is caring for one another that God requires. He wired us for love, the getting and giving of love. It seems, however, the evil that came with the choice of Adam and Eve distorts love. Love becomes it’s all about me, what I want, what I would enjoy, what I need, the self-centeredness that becomes oblivious to the needs of those around us.
I read a story a few months ago when the COVID 19 was ramping up. At the time, we knew that those over 65 or with underlying medical issues were at high risk. In this story, a father told his son, who was in college, wanting to go for spring break, not to go. They had the father’s parents living with them, and they couldn’t take the risk of exposing them to the COVID 19 virus. The son still went on spring break, ignoring his father’s request. He sent pictures of fun and activities to mom and dad. After the spring break, the son came home rather than going back to school, since colleges had shut down by then. When he got home, he found his car filled with his clothes and bags of food. His father met him at the door. He explained the son was to go back to his apartment by the school; it is paid in full until the end of the school year. At the end of the lease, he would need to figure out what his living arrangements would be as he would not be coming home to live. The son was shocked. The father said: “I told you we had your grandparents living in our home, and they were high risk. I asked you to respect their need to be safe over your desire to have fun.” The father went on to say: “You made your choice; we have had to make ours. Love and respect require that we keep our family safe and secure to the best of our ability.”
The father showed tough love but a valuable lesson for the son and all of us. The father teaching his son about the responsibility of love was the best gift he could have given him.
Love isn’t always easy, but it is necessary. Love isn’t “about me.” It isn’t still about what we get. It is about our responsibility to those we love and even those that aren’t so lovable. It loves in the way God has loved us.
For Christ followers, young or old loving isn’t optional. Jesus gave us two commands:
“And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ The whole Law and the [writings of the] Prophets depend on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:37-40 Amplified Bible (AMP)
Sometimes we get weary in well-doing. Other times we just decide I want to do what I want to do. Then there are the moments we don’t agree with someone’s positions, politically, spiritually, socially, that list can go on and on. But, there wasn’t any caveat in Jesus’ command. Love the Lord your God, and the second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. That is calling selfishness out in the open. Don’t just love yourself but love others the same.
Not always easy, it takes practice. It takes discipline. There is value in teaching our young Christ followers what loving means, the benefits, and the responsibilities. Some will get it, and some will need to figure it out over time. The best way to teach our children is to actively love others, giving our kids an example to follow with each of us loving one another. It is in believing, respecting one another, finding the best in one another, forgiving one another, and walking alongside one another – even when it’s inconvenient. When we do this, they will know we are Christ followers, and so will our children. It is not always easy, especially in today’s violent and often toxic world, BUT there is the “God Factor.” He will give us the grace, mercy, kindness, and capacity to love when we ask Him.
Just think of the difference it would make in the world today if each “Jesus Follower” asked Jesus into this sometimes hard place in our hearts and we showed love the way He did.
